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Make a Wish for the Rest of Your Life

Learning About Life From a Dog

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Univ. of Toronto Quality of Life Model

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Reader questions and feedback on strategies to succeed in life. Also refer to success, health, knowledge, skill, confidence, value, motivation, advancement, career, achievements, character, honesty emotions, relationships, Ron Kurtus, School for Champions. Copyright © Restrictions

Answers to Readers' Questions on Success in Life:

Relations

The following 2 comments and questions have been sent in. They are listed according to date.

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What are the five elements of emotional intellignece?

Question

July 5, 2009

1.what are the four (4) selves than represent each human person?
2.what are the five (5) basic element of emotional intelligence ?

john ray - Phillipines

17980

Answer

I'm not sure what you meant by four selves.

In the Sufi religion, there are four selves or states of being:
1. The commanding self - the one who will not let go. 2. The doubting, self-reproachful self - the dawning of conscience, questioning and self-investigation - the one who questions the one who will not let go. 3. The believing, inspired self - the one who no longer questions. The beginning of Surrender. 4. Self-realized - the satisfied, illumined, enlightened and fulfilled self. The one who knows, and is, Unity.

The five elements of emotional intelligence are: self-awareness, motivation, self-regulation, empathy, and adeptness in relationships.

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Other people do not enjoy me

Question

June 23, 2005

Hello There,
First, that was really great. You introduced the most important basic in relationship with others. But I have a question for you. I actually beleive in what you said, and I did tried a lot to reach to this points. But I really do not know why the other people do not enjoy me. They do not call me if they do not have to. I am looking for a way to be found by others as a nice and cool guy. How can I do that. What are the keys?

Thank you in advance,
Ali

Alireza - Canada

7346

Answer

If you feel that people do not enjoy you, the first thing to do is to look at yourself and make sure you do not do things that turn people off. Poor hygiene, always interrupting, insulting others, being obnoxious, and being very self-centered are common reasons people don't like others.

Showing interest in what the other people like is very important to getting them to like you. Obviously, you want to find people with similar interests. Even if you're not too interested, it is good to find out something. Some people you may think are real losers often have hidden talents that can be interesting.

Although being interested is important, you also need to be interesting, so that they will remember you. It is a case of knowing who you are and what you like and then presenting it in a way that is not too pushy.

Finally, you need to realize that there are a lot of people who feel the same way you do. Even some that seem to be the life of the party often feel others don't like them or enjoy them.

Be yourself, be interested in others, find those with similar interests, and you should have more friends and acquaintances. Best wishes in becoming a champion with these people.

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Summary

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